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I know, I know; none of the sites make it clear enough. Don’t create a totally random one that you gave a mere second’s thought!None of them force you really take time to think about that step, or let you fill out the other aspects of your profile while you ponder the all-important “username” field and come back to it once the creative juices are flowing. Check out this link about a JDate user who picked an icky name.Click the Spin button as many times as you like to create a new set of random names.You can also Start a Name Contest and invite your friends to suggest names.

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Aiming to short-circuit this cycle, "e-flirt expert" Laurie Davis' hyperprescriptive (Atria) instructs us in a level of detail that is by turns grating and illuminating on how we should be "marketing our singledom." Here, the authors' best advice on joining—and enjoying—the mixer:1.

I confess I had no idea what “tossed salad” meant, but it turns out it meant something kinda kinky that did not convey what this gal intended.

I’ve had ever so many users come to me with usernames that either convey something totally off (wrong gender, for example) or just failed to help them stand out and shine.

Play the Field"It's important to be in more than one community," Davis says.

"It's like being in more than one social circle." She suggests joining one mainstream site (say, e Harmony or Match.com) as well as one niche service, such as Cupidtino, which brings Apple-product obsessives together, or the unapologetically elitist Sparkology (the site's men—but not its women! "Changing sites from time to time, and then revisiting, is the best strategy," says Davis. Ace Your Profile"Your user name is going to inspire them to click," says Davis, who suggests a terminology mash-up (e.g., Sporty Smile).